I found more connection with my new pals on work, new relation in new city, and even my connection with my boyfriend in the weekend are more interesting than likes on my Instagram. Sorry but that's the truth *laugh to cry* though me and my boyfriend could fight more often, but I appreciate the process how we fix every mistake we made. I love you baby, really. And thank you.

By the end of the month I found my pressure only from my work. The real one. When I need to deal with my client. My work mate. And my baby for sure. Like I realize that I was spending my time to find what should I post and I become people who 'create content' for the sake of 'updating' my digital life. And it's kinda tiring.

"..Still everyday I think about you 

I know for a fact that's not your problem 

But if you change your mind you'll find me 

Hanging on to the place

Where the big blue sky collapse.."

--Adhitia Sofyan "Blue Sky Collapse"

Have you ever been in fight? With your friend, with your family, with your beloved one?

Not really sure but I was on that state for couple days ago. A big fight with my boyfriend, a miss understanding with my mom. And found out that I need, I have to pray more to God. I was fvcking realized that i 'forget' Him for a while.

My world collide, my sky collapse, and I feel sooooooooo guilty. Really.

I am a Moslem and I believe for every verse I read on Qur'an. And remember some of them

When we said “..It’s impossible..”

I had a big fight with my boyfriend and he said he want to break up with me. Beside, my mom also against my will to work at Jakarta. How sad. I swear I couldn't think properly. I missed every single task that I got in work. Then I remember these verse again ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ this verse hit me hard. I cried like crazy and I asked Him for forgiveness. Asked Him to help me. For over problem that come and go.

 

annyeong! ❤

Not sure when I took these pictures since it already soooo long time ago.

Just a comfy casual chic outfits for rainy days. An oversized denim, black trousers and converse. What else I could ask for? Oh and choker for a lil sweet-grunge touch. I actually never get enough over oversized shirt since they can be sleek and cute at the same time. I get my boyfriend's shirts to wear nowadays, since he couldn't fit in them anymore LOLOLOL

"..Is I hate stripes and orange ain't my color
And if I squeeze that trigger tonight
I'll be wearin' one or the other
There's no crime of passion worth a crime of fashion
The only thing savin' your life
Is that I don't look good in orange and I hate stripes.."

--Brandy Clark "Stripes"

Everyone said that when we have some troubles in our live, it means that God loves us more. Well, actually it's not really like I have trouble which makes me desperate or something. But it bothers me a lot (ehm, at first). But before I tell you what bothers me, let me tell you something. Honestly, I never ever have interest over someone else life. If they are happy, that is not my business, if they are ruined, that's also none of my business. It doesn't mean that I don't have any humanity inside me. But sometimes, I think there's line that I shouldn't cross. That's why I never drown myself over other's people life, and don't want to mess up with them.



Actually, I've been so bothered by my boyfriend's ex and her friends. They acted like I am messing up with them which I didn't do that shit. I've been told you that I don't fucking care about other's life, right? Moreover, if it's you ex boyfriend. Is it really important to get into? BIG NO! But I won't spill other's glass if they didn't do that thing to me first. Let say his ex still has a finger in the pie,
complaining and feel bothered by his new life with you. Don't you feel bothered? Of course I am.

How if she called your boyfriend and said shit like "why you don't want to marry me but want to marry her instead?"

Honestly, I wanna say "Bitch, that's NOT even your business. And it is his right to marry me! Though if he is not with me and decide to marry someone else, IT'S STILL NOT YOUR BUSINESS AT ALL!" 

It was really getting on my nerve. When I was sounding my objection, they (his ex and her friends) act like I am the bad guy. They play victim and put themselves as the good people who's being tortured by me. Ladies, let me tell you something. I do really confused with you all. Why you put yourself as Cinderella when you are the stepmother and the stepsisters? I DON'T INTEREST OVER YOUR LIFE AT ALL WTF, but if I messed up with your life, take a note that you are the one who spilled my glass first.

Later I found out that her friend was mocking me, through their Instagram account. Even they made a fake account to said something bad on my Instagram. With very very very bad words and very very very low grammar. Said something like I am a 'Drama Queen'. And I was like "Hell-o??? Don't you have a big mirror at your house? Or if you don't have any, please use your cam phone, though I know it would be so hard since you guys use a lot of filters on you cam to get beautiful picture. Whoops". Super LOL.


IDK, maybe they made one to check my Insta Stories. Since I can see whoever check my Insta Stories,  it could be very risky if they check it with their real account. In the end I realized that those 'low creatures' will always at that place. Under my feet.

Me, dealing with their drama

Hello Fellas, finally I write a post again.

I just realize that I lost a lot of my posts! I mean, my old post. Geez!! I like "wait, where's my post on Bali, where's this and where's that?". So I decided to post it again here. I hope you don't mind.

Sleeveless Top : Unbranded

Sunnies : Unbranded

Bangles : Bali

Well, actually I want to do some randomly rambling here. I mean, I want to share some stories to you, guys. Lately I was despised by my close friends. I can't actually call them "close friends" anymore since they did something that I can't understand. At first I felt that there's something different with their behavior and I just like "that's only your imagine, G".

But, as time goes by, they don't want to talk with me anymore. I asked them "What's my fault? Is there any mistake that I have done?" and they answered like "If you don't know what's your fault, then we don't need to talk".  I just like "WHAT?"

I got depressed and sick for several days (maybe till now). I told my problem to my mom, my other friend who truly care about me, someone who never cease to love, and of course, my God. They asked my to stop thinking about it, but I can't. I don't know what's my fault and that turns like a shit!

I cried almost everyday and my health goes worst. I lost my weight and I got a bad hair loss. REALLY BAD. When I comb my hair with my hand, then I can got a lot of hair loss.  

I pray to God a lot and start to spent my time with other friends. Trying to open my mind and get a new point of view. I learn to introspect myself and accept my condition. But I have to admit that live with my "friends" in one place, in my boarding house made me so frustrated. 

My wise friend said "face them, ask them what's your fault, if they don't say it, just tell them that you feel sorry".  

She said this is my natural selection, but it doesn't mean that I could not adapt. This is simply because "friends who hates me" is not a suitable habitat for me. Maybe I already had a different perspective with them. Maybe I've changed, maybe I've been through a stages where they are still remain in that stage. And maybe when I changed, I was no longer a suitable person to be in their group. Maybe I'm wrong because I can not adapt to them anymore. But my wise friend said that I'm lucky because I know what kind of friends they are.

She said "If you strong enough, face them everyday like there is nothing wrong between you and them, but if you think you're enough, move, you're not a tree"

"Dear GOD, I trust You.."

"If you have a dream, run. Chase it. If it's too high, jump. Reach it. If it's too far away, fly. Catch it. Then make it comes true. God never sleeps" -Gita Regina- 

Dear friends. 

It's nice to write again on this blog. 

This time I'm not going to talk about beauty or fashion. I want to tell you about a lot of things. About what I've been thinking these times. 

 Previously, I would like to ask you. What is your dream?

 

My dream is to become a designer. My all friends know how I love to design. The colors, the patterns, the styles, art, and the beauty of love which poured on a piece of cloth. It makes me really happy. You know, it gives me some euphoria when I did it. I can't lie if I enjoy it much.

Time by time I realize that I found what I love next. I got Public Relation class when I was in second semester, and it has a rule that I have to wear some make up on my face. You know, act like a professional. Well dressed then put some make up on my face really help me to make my day. I loved how make up work wonders on the face of each person who is touched by. It just like give me a new spirit.

And I realized that I found the similarities of these two things. 

Color, style, drawing, and passion. 

I recognizes that I live amongst it from I was a child. I know how I love art. Art that I mean here is not just a contemporary art or classic art that lives in the blood of artists. Art that I call here is how science, culture , behavior , and age , forming my mindset . Oh, if you knew how much I wanted to have my own label. How do I want my hallmark in face painting will recognize. 

And one more thing, I wanna go to school again. 
Getting a master's degree.
Oh my God,, I do really love go to school, and study. Learn everything.

I know. Build what I dreamed was not as easy as building a house of Lego. My parents might want me to work in well-known companies, with salaries above the average. Yes, it is humane. But everything has to be run with the will, passion , effort , and prayer, hasn’t it? Without one of those things, everything won’t go smoothly. 

Do not believe ? Let's tell a story. 

I've worked as a marketing in a small company . FYI . I never liked marketing. I feel , my sales art is bad. I got good tips to increase sales , but not in practice . In short, I suck . 

After that company , I continued my work with being a public relations at a wedding organizer . Well, at first I felt " this is my place" but not thereafter . There's nothing wrong with my work . I enjoyed it, but there was no passion in it . It's like things which make you go to school after a long holiday . Every day . Hmm , how does it sound ? Hard . 

I've prayed to God , trying to do their best as well , but I realize . Again . There is no passion . It makes me heavy in stride . Erm, like what I do is always wrong. But , I know . There is nothing that can be obtained easily in this world . Maybe God put me in this situation so that I can learn how I should choose a job . Or maybe God told me how hard to earn money , how hard to save , how hard to survive so that I could realize my dream , maybe God was taught me to survive in the midst of a situation that did not support me .

Oh my God, please forgive me,,

I know, maybe I have not been able to reach my dreams now. Maybe I still have to cry every night, pour out my heart to someone who will never cease to love. Or maybe I still have to keep asking for help from God. But I know, this is one way of God for me to achieve my dreams. 

Maybe I have to jump higher to reach my dreams . Or maybe I have to fly to reach my dreams . And make it come true. Yes, I have to make those possibility into certainty...Amiin. 

Again, what's your dream? :)


*******

P.S : My Giveaway Winner is Jessica Ie :D
Yeay, congratulation for you, please send me your address to gitalaquisha@yahoo.com. I will waiting for 2x24 hours :D
FYI, I read everyone post and post which wrote by Jessica is interesting for me ;)
Again, congratulation Jessica :D
Anyway, what's your dream, J? :)