Hi mates, it's been a year since I write on this blog. I know that I am a lazy blogger. Bad blogger for sure. I do really want to share my beauty reviews and my daily look which still on process. Well yeah, I have to do so many post. Geez.
But now, instead of talking about beauty and daily look, I want to talk about life. Well, I am almost 24. For my age, I am surely want to get married. And time is running out. But for your information, I broke up with my boyfriend. No wonder, my best friend and other people who know us well were shocked. And I was like "hhmm, hhh" You know, that shitty awkward feeling when those people keep asking you "WHY?"
A friend of mine has a joke about my relationship, he said "It's been 5 years, and you have to change your license plate" and I could've died laughing. Honestly, I have so many plans with my ex, but when it doesn't work, I feel like, this is not right. And yes, the problem is me. It might sound cliche if I showed you why I decided to break up with my boyfriend. I do not love him anymore. And imagine if I lived with him for the rest of my life? Well, I believe, love is just a chemical reaction from pheromones, endorphins, and serotonin. And the substances will be reduced even disappear after several time. But trust, empathy, compassion, and communication will remain binding. For us, some of it may have disappeared. Then suddenly, I can't find our right time, anymore. Moreover, to continue our life in a marriage, but I am living in belief that I would get married, someday, with the right person (for me). Having children, many plans for future, and a happy life. But is that true? Only that?
Today I found this link
and feel I like, yes, not all of which are considered by others is good for us is good for us. Everyone says my ex is a good person. I have no doubt, he is a good man. Everybody says he is good for me, but is it true? Again, I realize that the one who knows what we need better, is our self.
So "whether love really need love?"
Let me tell you something. Honestly, I already found who I need and who I want. He's the one who refused me for six year. He never said that he would be the best for me, but he said that he will stay accompany me whenever I need him. He never said that he would never get bored on me, but he said that he will find many ways to kill his boredom. He's not romantic but he knows how to treat me well. He may not good in showing his expression, when he miss me, when he need me, when he happy with me, but he knows well how to make me miss him many times. He never said "I love you" but he said "let me show my feelings through what I did". And I do remember with what he ever said
"we didn't have the best beginning, It's alright, at least we have a good ending together"
but I'm not sure that those words are for me, lol